Proverbs 28:13

Have you ever experienced God in a slap-you-in-the-face sort of way? I mean you see God working in your life all the time, especially in hindsight but there are those times that you just know, that was God, no doubt about it. Well, I have experienced that twice now in my life. I will tell you about this last time.

I have never been a big fan of my brother-in-law's wife. There wasn't any justifiable reason, it was all petty and all me. If I had to pinpoint a time that it all started I would have to say that it was when Dom and I first got engaged. What I was told her reaction was to my future brother-in-law was this, "We're not going to beat them huh?" From then on I was in competition. I guess it just triggered something inside of me, I was offended, seeing as how they hadn't even been dating a year and she had just turned 18. So, needless to say we were not friends.

Family dinners became who cooked a better dinner, or who had the better activity? I guess it was natural that jealousy followed shortly after the competition began because if she won, which I thought she always did, I would be jealous that she did it better. As the year progressed these feelings only deepened into an unexplainable hatred. Now, I am not proud of this but even though I wanted things to change since it was making my time in NorCal miserable and all family activities miserable it was just easier than changing my entire way of thinking to do the opposite, get along with her.

Just recently I had reached my breaking point, I had hit bottom and I was finished with feeling like this. I decided to be honest with God and give it all up to Him. I boldly admitted to Him that I hated her and I had no reason to and that I wasn't going to do anything about it, He had to. No joke, a few days later she calls me to invite me over to hang out. I soo didn't want to go but I did in some kind of effort not to be a total B but my heart was not in it. The night was short but not too bad and I went home unharmed. Well, she invited me to hang out again for a longer amount of time and I was all, really? I don't know if I can make it through this one.

Even though I still didn't want to give in, we ended up having a really good time and found out we have a lot in common. She stayed over and talked with me even after her husband went home cause he was dog tired. Well, somewhere in the wee hours of the morning I asked her why, after all this time, she had all of a sudden decided she wanted to be friends? She said that they wanted to give us space because we had made it clear when we first got married that that's what we wanted, but she also said that she thought I hated her.........So, it was out there and what was my reaction? You would think it would be to cover it up or deny it or laugh it off based on my behavior so far right? No, I said, "I did." She had made me feel comfortable and we were being open and honest with each other and I thought that it was about time to put an end to this and God couldn't have made it any easier for me. Honestly though, I never thought He would use her to confront the situation. I thought He would eventually soften my heart or harden hers as well, something stupid like that but God faced it head on and made me feel completely at ease. :)

Now even though my confession was harsh and abrupt she didn't cower or get hurt she laughed and we spent the next few hours in confession mode, her telling me she had felt the same way and us reliving instances where we were both being ridiculous. I admitted that my jealously ran deep since she is pretty and talented and she admitted that she reads my blog and likes my hair. The feeling of liberation after letting go of such an awful, unreasonable feeling was heavenly. After dropping her off at her place at six in the morning, I drove home praising God. I couldn't believe what just happened, it was something that I had day dreamed about, just having the guts to confront her and get it over with but it was now a reality, God had made it all possible and so easy.

Since then, we have watched movies together, gone shopping, played walleyball and Nertz. It's so nice to have a friend here, a girl who I can vent to or laugh with, someone I can relate to about marriage or NorCal or being a new Parisi. I'm so happy that my idiocy had an end and that God still gave me a friend out of it. I only hope that He continues to work in me and our new friendship. :)


Proverbs 28:13 "He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy."